Patience is a virtue, and sometimes you need to wait for good things to come. That is exactly what happens with long jokes, as your interest in finding out what happens keeps growing with every little detail that is added to the story! We have selected three jokes for you today, which we believe will keep you rather entertained! Let’s get into it!
Albert Einstein is one of the most recognized scientists to have ever walked this Earth and, while he was passionate about Theoretical Physics, sometimes he could be a bit bored by speaking about it all the time. This particular story takes place in one of those days when Einstein couldn’t be bothered with science any longer.
Sadly, it was also one of the days he had to make a presentation at a big university conference room. While Einstein was being driven to the University, he realized how much his driver looked like him: the same scruffy hair, fluffy mustache, they could have been brothers, in fact! This gave Einstein an idea:
While the driver was by no means a scientist, he had attended all the conferences Einstein had given throughout the years that they have been working together, so what could go wrong? Einstein shares his thoughts with the driver, who takes it as a challenge to showcase what he learned through the years.
The driver and Einstein then take to the break room to switch clothes and, low and behold, they look exactly the same - both were very confident no one in the audience would be able to tell the difference, and they were right! When the time for the conference comes, the driver (now dressed as Einstein) heads to the stage.
The real Einstein sits in the back of the audience, where his trusted driver tends to sit during all his conferences. The driver starts by giving his usual speech, which was quite impressive, especially considering he was no scientist himself. However, while there was no Q&A predicted for this conference, something happens.
Another scientist in the audience wants to impress Einstein, so he gets up and starts asking a question about the theory of relativity, something that the poor driver wouldn’t be able to answer. Everyone in the audience goes quiet, waiting for the wisdom that Einstein is about to spill out.
Obviously, the driver didn’t know how to answer the question, however, he just went in for the kill. He looks the scientist dead in the eye and tells him without missing a beat, "Sir, your question is so simple to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me," while pointing at the real Einstein. How clever!
Being an astronaut is not an easy job. After several years of education, physical and mental practice, only a few are eligible to make it out of the planet. Even so, before leaving Earth, astronauts need to do several in-land pieces of training and practices in order to be truly prepared for what is going to happen once they leave.
As such, in preparation for the Apollo project, NASA’s training astronauts were asked to practice for some weeks on a Navajo reservation. The natural geography and ground morphology of the reservation would allow them to experience a more similar landscape to what they will face out in space, and the astronauts practiced there for several weeks.
On a particular day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding their animals across and ran into the astronauts. As this was a very unusual group of people to be seen out in the Navajo reservation, the elder (who spoke only his native language) was very curious about what was going on, and asked something that his son translated:
“What are these guys with the big suits doing here?” A member of the space crew explained to the Navajo father and son that they were using their fields to practice an upcoming trip to the moon. The Navajo elder was not used to meeting astronauts often, so he asked them if they could send his message to the moon.
Being excited about the opportunity to get some promotion out of bringing a Navajo message to space, the NASA crew quickly found a recorder to tape the elder’s message. Once his message was recorded, the crew asked his son to translate what he said, however, the son refused.
As the crew couldn’t take a message with them that they didn’t understand, they decided to wait until they were back at the housing on the reservation to ask the other Navajo people for help with the translation. When the practice was over, the astronauts’ crew returned and were excited to find out what the elder had said.
The astronauts played the tape to the Navajo people around them to try and discover what was the recording about, however, the only thing they got was the laughs of those who understood what the elder had said. No other member of the Navajo tribe wanted to translate what the elder had said, so the astronauts were getting worried.
They shared their concerns with the government, who quickly sent them an official translator to try and decipher what the elder wanted to send to the Moon. The translator finally arrives and listens to the tape, only to translate it to "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."
This story takes place in New York City, where a blonde woman in her early thirties, dressed in a nice outfit and with her make-up done walks into a bank. The woman asked the clerk to speak with a loan officer, as she has some important business to take care of and would need a loan.
The loan officer arrives and asks her to explain why she is currently in need of a loan. The woman describes her business and explains that she will be traveling to Europe on a business trip, and due to that she requires a loan of $5,000 to cover her expenses.
After running the woman’s information on their database, the bank officer explains that since she is not a client at their bank she will have to leave security collateral for the loan. The woman understands and hands him over her car keys, which happen to be for a new Rolls-Royce.
The woman explains that the car is parked just outside in front of the bank and that she can go and get the title to prove that the car is indeed hers. The bank officer walks with her over to the car, checks the documents, and explains that the bank will accept it as collateral.
Once the paperwork is done, an employee of the bank drives the car to the bank’s underground garage. The woman leaves and goes on with her life, while, at the same time, the bank's president and its officers enjoy a good laugh at the blonde’s expense, for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
Two weeks later, as predicted, the woman returns from her trip to Europe and comes back to the bank in order to repay the $5,000 and the interest, which added $15.41 to the grand total. After completing the transaction, the loan officer explains that he did a background check on her, and was confused about her loan.
The blonde woman asks him to explain, and the loan officer says “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The woman smiles, looks him in the eye, and tells him "Well, I do have the money and would not need a loan at all, however, where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
The plot twists of many jokes tend to be quite offensive, however, isn’t it incredible when you can finally laugh out loud for a joke that just proves that our prejudices are wrong? Which joke did you like the most? Let us know in the comments which one you prefer as well as suggestions of your favorite jokes! Make sure to share this story with your friends who might be in need of a good laugh!